What It’s Really Like To… Have Twins

Excitement? Disbelief? Panic? Finding out you’re expecting twins brings with it a mixed bag of emotions and plenty of questions. From whether the pregnancy and birth will be different than with a single baby, to what to buy to make life easier on the other side, the best advice comes from those who have been there and done it. London-based designer Charlie Brear is a mum to a nine-year-old daughter, Mabel, and four-year-old twins, Gus and Joan. Here, she shares her advice for all expectant and new parents of twins. (Spoiler - it will all be alright in the end.)

What is different about the pregnancy?

"I felt twice as tired at the start but twice as energetic in the second trimester, something about being pregnant with twins makes you feel like you're invincible."

What do you have to be careful of?

"Over-doing it. When you have other children and work to juggle, you can turn into a robot that does not rest enough. At the end, accept that you will be big and tired, exercise as much as you can and rest at any opportunity. I hate resting, but I really had to."

Choosing one name is hard enough, how do you pick two?

"I didn't feel the need to find out the sex of my first baby, but with the twins I needed to bond with them in advance because the prospect of bringing two babies into the world at the same time felt overwhelming. I had different combinations depending on the, boy-boy, girl-girl, boy-girl scenarios. The main problem now being that I have boy and girl names that still need using up!"

What should you buy - what was a lifesaver for you?

"The Red Castle Cocoonababy. It's designed for babies to sleep in, but when you start bottle feeding, these allow you to sit in comfort on the sofa or in bed with two babies and feed them at the same time, or put one down and pick the other up to wind them quickly but safely strap them back in. I used mine for almost a year and have a love thing with them, I cried when they got too big for them! A Jumperoo times two. They are pretty revolting looking, and will take up your whole house, but are possibly the best money you will ever spend for 20 mins of hands-free twin baby fun. A big playpen; as big as you can stand to have in your house. I liked the Baby Bjorn highchair for the twins. You can hold one on your lap, whilst you drop the front down and lift the other one out without getting up. We used the Mountain Buggy Duet V2.5 Pushchair and it was genius: the lightest of all and as narrow as a single Bugaboo. And, if you like to be organised, a book on routine. It doesn't have to be a twin book, in fact I found these confusing."

What's your advice for preparing for the birth?

"Expect the unexpected. Thirty-seven weeks is seen as being full term for twins. I was booked for a c-section because of a back injury, but my first birth was natural and super quick. The twins came at 36 weeks. I was in theatre being prepped, but the babies came naturally before they could operate. It was much more sterile than my first birth, just three of us that time versus about 12 people with the twins, but so exciting because most of the team there had never done a natural twin birth."

What's the most difficult thing when they're born?

"Having already had one baby, the shock is much less as you do know what you are doing. The best advice a twin mum friend gave me (who was a first time mum to twins) was treat them when they are very new like one baby - i.e one problem for both. Do everything at the same time as much as possible and if they are ill or up in the night don't separate them. You will make so much more work for yourself if you start doing things individually."

How do you juggle having the twins as well as an older sibling?

"Routine, Routine, Routine. It's tedious but if you have two babies and other children you need it, unless you don't like sleeping and you enjoy never having a moment to yourself. It's a military operation getting through a day. Hire a doula or beg family for as much help as possible right from the start, but try to have that help do all the mundane stuff like cooking and cleaning up at least in the beginning so that you can spend time with the babies and do at least one thing with your other child or children each day. Even watching television with them in bed and having a cuddle helps them not feel left out."

What's the best thing about being a twin mum?

"Everything. It's corny but once you have twins you really are part of a club. When they wheel you out with two babies in your arms you feel so ridiculously proud of yourself. People stop you in the street to say they have twins, they are a twin, or their daughter has twins. You never feel 'stuck in the house with a baby' because it's very sociable even if only the three of you are home. Everyone comes to see you and helps you out even without asking, so accept it with open arms and enjoy it. Mine are now four and just keep getting better, they always have each other and are really happy."

And the worst?

"You still feel like you want a third baby, but this would be your fourth!"

This article was originally published on British Vogue.

Charlie Brear is a bridal and ready-to-wear designer based in London. Charliebrear.com